Icebreakers for adults that don't make people cringe

Adults don't hate icebreakers. They hate being asked to make animal noises in front of colleagues. An icebreaker for adults should skip the ten minutes of small talk, take the social risk off the people taking part, and connect to why they're there.

Chad Littlefield, who has run openers with over 100,000 people, gives two pieces of advice before any activity. First, stop saying "icebreaker". Some people tense up at the word, so call it what it is, a few minutes to connect before the content. Second, design it like a painkiller, not a vitamin: it should fix the awkward start, not just be nice to have.

The five at a glance

1. Photo stories

Ask everyone to open their phone's photo app and scroll back to an old photo with a story behind it. Then pair up or form small groups and share the photo and the story. Change the prompt to fit the group: a photo from 2019, from a trip, or from the last month.

It works because people take photos of moments they wanted to keep, so the stories are good ones, and a face plus a picture is far more memorable than a story told cold. On a call, people can hold the phone up to the camera in breakout rooms.

After it, bring everyone back and ask "What struck you about those conversations?" People rarely repeat the stories. They say how open people were or how good it felt, and that tells the group this is a room where things that matter get said.

2. One strong question

The simplest version: open with one question that takes people straight to something they care about. "What's one of your favorite topics of conversation?" gets knitting, football, whales and ten new conversations in a minute. You've taken the risk for them by choosing the question, so nobody has to think of something to say.

3. Pooled advice

Groups of four, one prompt that taps what people know: the best advice a mentor gave them, a habit they've actually kept and how, or a lesson from their first job. Tie it to the session if you can. Each person leaves knowing three things they didn't, which makes it the opener that also teaches.

4. Question swap

Everyone gets a question, on a card in a room or from a numbered list on a call. They pair up, ask each other their questions, swap cards and raise a hand to find someone new. Run it for 10 to 20 minutes.

People choose how deep to go, since any question can get a light answer or a personal one, and how long to stay in each pair. Some pairs swap after a minute; some talk for twenty. Both are fine. This is the one that works with a thousand people in a ballroom.

5. Problem swap

The same mechanics with a different thing to swap: a problem on their mind, an idea they're testing, or a favorite quote if you want it lighter. Each person gets a few minutes of advice from someone new, then they swap and move on.

What to say

• Instead of "Let's do an icebreaker": "Before we get into it, a few minutes to meet each other properly."
• To lower the stakes: "Share as much or as little as you like. Any answer is a good answer."
• To close it: "What did you notice in those conversations?" Then tie it to the session.

Common mistakes

• Trivia with no purpose. "Favorite candy bar" makes people cross their arms. A question tied to why they're here gets them leaning in.
• Putting one person on the spot in front of everyone. Pairs and small groups first.
• Skipping the debrief. One minute of "what did you notice?" turns a warm-up into the start of the session.

Run it with Claryoo

A strong opening question can also run as a live poll in the meeting chat, so a big group answers in seconds before you take it to pairs. For report-backs, pick a volunteer at random from the people who answered, so the same three people aren't always first.

More to watch

• 5 No-Prep Icebreakers For Adults, Chad Littlefield (12 min): all five above, demonstrated.
• Top 3 ICEBREAKERS For Meetings And Workshops, AJ&Smart (8 min): "my first job and what it taught me", pointless questions, and Pictionary to show nobody needs to draw well.
• For 35 more, sorted by group size, see ice breaker ideas for meetings.